We have explored the four cardinal virtues—prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance—and are now ready to strengthen these dispositions in our children. The Lord intends the pursuit of virtue to be a daily journey we travel together as a family. In his goodness, he gave us the Beatitudes to act as signposts on the path of virtue.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Father Jacque Philippe writes that this beatitude is “the source of all the others; it contains them all, as a seed contains a plant.” He describes spiritual poverty as “the freedom to receive everything freely and to give everything freely.”
What poverty of spirit doesn’t look like:
Johnny always wants to be first in line and first to be recognized before everyone else. He’s sly about it, but he is nearly always successful in manipulating circumstances and others to ensure he gets what he wants; sometimes he complains, accuses, pouts, or storms out of the room when he doesn’t get what he wants.
Sally keeps score on everything; when slighted, she never forgets, and everyone knows about it! She goes out of her way to find fault in others and to tell everyone else about them. She lies about others to make herself look better. Sally shows little respect for her parents, siblings, teachers and others.
We may be Johnny or Sally, and our children may be Johnny or Sally! What can we do to assume the spiritual posture of poverty and recognize that everything comes to us from God for his goodwill and purpose?
What poverty of spirit does look like:
Johnny’s parents have taught him to practice J.O.Y.: Jesus, Others and You. He can’t remember when his family didn’t love Jesus; everything about their lives is about loving Jesus more than anything else. His family worships at Mass every Sunday. They celebrate the liturgical year every day by praying with the Lord about all the things in their lives that trouble them, and they always thank God for his love and goodness. They regularly learn about the saints of salvation history to learn how to love Jesus and others.
One of his parents helps him through an examination of conscience most nights, guiding him in taking his self-centered tendencies that hurt others to Jesus for forgiveness. He’s learned to recognize that manipulation of others and a complaining spirit cause his parents and siblings pain; therefore, he goes with his parents to the Sacrament of Reconciliation to confess his sin of hurting others and receive absolution. His parents help him to obey the priest’s command, “Go and sin no more.”
He is inspired by his parents’ careful attention to not cause others trouble. He seldom hears them complain or sees them get angry, but when he does, they are quick to apologize for their attitudes and actions.
Sally’s family practices J.O.Y. as well, and their faith practices are similar to Johnny’s. Sally’s parents are hospitable to others and are very careful to speak well of everyone. Her parents regularly address Sally’s trouble with getting along by helping her see how her behavior towards others disrespects the Lord and them. When angry or rude, her parents teach her to be a good human by taking her to confession, holding her accountable for her behavior, apologizing, and asking for forgiveness from the person she hurt. They guide Sally to see the best in others by discussing the offensive behavior and helping her develop alternative responses to others.
Sally’s family challenges each other to perform acts of mercy by serving others in a family-friendly competition. Each week, they choose one of the fruits of virtue—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, gentleness and self-control—keeping a tally on their J.O.Y. board. The week’s winner chooses a game they can play where they can practice the fruits of virtue on each other.
Children have an innate desire for leadership, authority, and security; we can leverage this desire to trust and follow our beloved Lord. When we cooperate with the Lord in our vocation as their parents, he will enable us to create a joyful atmosphere in our homes!
~I am a freelance writer. This post first appeared in a periodical.
The Maiden Warrior 