St. Benedict encouraged in his book “The Rule of St. Benedict,” written around 530 A.D., “to keep death before [our] eyes daily” and “to keep constant watch over [our] actions.” The saint touched on something we do well to remember in 2025 A.D.: We prepare for the inevitability of death as we live. This month, we will consider how best to orient our children and grandchildren to the four last things. As Catholics, we are encouraged to prepare for death, purgatory, heaven and hell. It almost goes without saying that from the inception of this monthly column, we have offered counsel that prepares our children for their entrance into eternity; we will not repeat all that here. Let us dig a bit deeper into this subject and learn ways to improve in our noble profession as parents and grandparents.
“[Parenting] is a noble profession that shapes the character, intellect, and souls of the future generations.”
~St. Elizabeth Ann Seton
Knowing where we came from and what we are here for makes it easier to understand where we are going. The best way, it seems, is to prepare our children for their destination by training them to navigate the “first thing”: knowing the breadth, depth and height of the love of the one for whom they exist. We want to teach them that God’s unfailing love breaks through every border in our lives, and he desires that we live like that! We must teach our children to live purposefully, mindful that the borders of this life are not dead ends; there is always so much more to learn about how God loves us! Living a spiritual life is not a burden but a joyous journey filled with the love of God.
How can we guide our children to lead beautiful lives with Our Lord?
We want to acquaint our children with God’s justice, which is love and mercy. The parables Jesus taught were built upon this truth, the prodigal son (Lk 15) being the most well-known. We can use this parable to expose our children to God’s lavish love for them, just like the father in the parable. The parable displays love and mercy in spades! It also exemplifies the need for forgiveness in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. When we make confession a family practice, we provide opportunities for our children to experience God’s love and mercy. This regular practice not only reassures them of God’s forgiveness but also guides them in understanding purgatory, as the sacrament grants us the grace to purge everything that will not be welcomed in heaven if we turn from the wrongdoing that got us there in the first place and live out our absolution on purpose.
On the way to confession, we can remind them that we practice regular confession to be godly humans and prepare ourselves for God’s beautiful future for each of us. This regular practice of confession is a source of reassurance and guidance for our children, helping them understand and accept God’s forgiveness.
We can also lovingly hold our children accountable and help them train their spiritual muscles in obedience. Son, I know you asked Jesus to forgive you for; how can I help you become a better human and guide you when you struggle with? It is better to help our children nip vice and wrongdoing in the bud before it becomes habitual, leading to sin that separates them from God’s beautiful desire for their lives. We also instill an understanding of the purpose of purgatory when we regularly help them (and ourselves) purge sin from their lives through the sacrament. Better now than later.
How do we teach our children about sin and its effects on our lives and future?
We want our children to know the difference between committed sins and omitted acts of obedience, and this will help them recognize that we are accountable for the wrong we choose to do and the right we do not decide to do. St. James admonishes, “So for one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, it is a sin” (4:17).
The parable of the 10 virgins and the parable of the talents (St. Matthew 25) can help them recognize we are accountable to God and others for our actions. (As a reminder, always try to follow up what you read to them with the five W’s–who, what, when, where, why–to engage their minds and trigger responsive behavior.) The parables and teachings of Jesus convey that disobedience to our Lord includes the choices we make not to do the right thing. Understanding sin and accountability enlightens our children and empowers them to make responsible choices in their spiritual journey.
Think of what is above, not of what is on earth. … your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ your life appears, then you too will appear with him in glory. ~Colossians 3:2-4
How do we teach our children to fix their minds on our Lord?
The beautiful life God wants to give us here and now and in eternity depends upon our responses to him in the way we think and the choices we make that reciprocate our love for him. Therefore, we want to help our children kindle to Jesus’ heart and choose virtuous living out of a deep passion for God, not just fear of hell. Thomas à Kempis wrote the spiritual classic “The Imitation of Christ,” the go-to book for learning to love the Lord our God in thought, word and deed. His life-changing counsel acts as a guidance counselor on fixing our minds on Christ and his example.
The more integrated and uncomplicated one is, the more effortless and astute one will be in their understanding because they will be enlightened from above. … A person who wishes to be good and devout first puts their interior life in order and then attends to his other duties. ~Thomas à Kempis
Friends, when we make goodness and devotion to our Lord the priority of our noble profession, his Holy Spirit imbues us with the fortitude to stay at our post. Above and beyond all these suggestions on preparing for the four last things is praying hedges of protection around our children as we nurture them in the faith. The most effective tool is the Sacred Scriptures, for God’s Word is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing the heart and accomplishing his desire (Hebrews 4:12; Isaiah 55:11).
Resources:
Bible story books for children from Arch Books, appropriate for ages 5-9. (The first four parents to request a Family Prayer Guide at standinthegap.sfdiocese@gmail.com will receive a Bible parable storybook free upon request in gratitude to you for praying for your family.)
“The Imitation of Christ for Children: A Guide to Following Jesus” by Elizabeth Ficocelli.
Allegories are also a good tool for teaching spiritual truths in story form. We highly recommend these read-aloud books for children age 9+:
“Hinds Feet in High Places” by Hannah Hurnard.
“Pilgrims Progress” by John Bunyan
“Lord of the Rings” by J.R.R. Tolkien
“The Chronicles of Narnia” by C.S. Lewis
Dante Alighieri’s “Inferno” as told for young people by Joseph Tusiani (12+)
~I am a freelance writer. This post first appeared in a periodical.
The Maiden Warrior 