The first two Beatitudes we discussed focus on the personal attitudes of those poor in spirit and those who mourn. This month’s Beatitude shifts our focus to the interpersonal attitude of a merciful spirit toward others—the gentle disposition of heart that motivates one to relate to others kindly, with humility and consideration. Meek does not equate to weak; far from it! The biblical understanding of meekness is strength under control. The example of Jesus is that he never wavered on truth and goodwill in his relationship with humanity, even when he had every right to in our way of thinking.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
~St. Matthew 5:5
One of the areas where a merciful spirit is most needed is in our differences with others. The environment of our homes is like an incubator for virtue or vice. Our children will model our behaviors; therefore, we must learn to be meek. We will consider how we can do that to help our children be meek. One version of the Bible expands on St. Matthew 5:5 this way: “Blessed [inwardly peaceful, spiritually secure, worthy of respect] are the gentle [the kind-hearted, the sweet-spirited, the self-controlled], for they will inherit the earth” (Amplified Modern Version). Let’s examine how we can train our children in meekness (gentleness and humility).
The Blessing of Reverence for the Lord
[Reverence for] the Lord is training for wisdom, and humility goes before honors.
~Proverbs 15:33
Reverence for the Lord often reads “fear of the Lord” in Sacred Scripture; the word “fear” causes some confusion when we don’t understand it according to the intention of the Hebrew language. Reverence comes much closer to its meaning. Reverence is the humble disposition of the heart toward the Lord and others. When we revere the Lord, we recognize our humble position before his sovereignty. When we revere others, we treat them with respect; this leads to inheriting the land, read: peace within our borders.
Do our children know how to revere the Lord and others? Do we teach them to be respectful when we enter our parish to worship in the Mass by quieting themselves, paying attention and participating in the responses of our worship? Do we model reverence for others? If we do, we teach them to be meek and humble.
The Blessing of Submission
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.
~St. Matthew 11:29-30
Jesus used the metaphor of a yoke that joined two oxen together to make the burden lighter for the oxen; they shared their load as a team. Here’s the thing: the oxen must submit to the yoke before they find relief from the burden of pulling the cart alone. Submission to our Lord’s will (yoke) is at the heart of all the blessings and promises throughout Sacred Scripture.
St. Paul learned to submit to the yoke the hard way! What we know of St. Paul is that he was a zealous and vengeful man before the Lord knocked him off his high horse. That encounter was a threshold to one humbling encounter after another.
We can sometimes observe Paul’s character before he was knocked off his high-horse in ourselves and our children when we are determined to stay on our high horse. Children can be loud with their objections to the yoke of humility or stubbornly quiet in their resistance; either way, there is a hardness, intransigence, or anger the Holy Spirit desires to tame.
Our children need the yoke of discipline because they need to learn that the world does not revolve around them. The blessing of discipline is that they learn to be humble, gentle, patient and forbearing, which leads to true and lasting peace from the Lord. Oh, friends, more than ever, it seems, our children need peace; the home is the surest place for them to receive it. How are we doing?
The Blessing of Accountability and Cooperation
However bad the situation you encounter may be, don’t become agitated and angry, for that will just make things worse. ~Father Jacques Philippe
Of course, we do not want to force our children into meekness by humiliating them. A humble heart is formed not by shaming or embarrassing our children but by allowing them to experience the consequences of their words and actions. We all can recall moments when a conflict arises in the home, and just when you think things are settling down, someone has to have the last word! Then, we are forced back on the hamster wheel of conflict. There is a better way.
We can seize the opportunity to discuss the injustice a child feels and guide them to respond with gentle honesty rather than react with irritation and resentment. But this takes our time and attention! First, to calm the room; second, to provide time alone for a child to think about their actions; and finally, to bring the family back together for a peaceful solution.
When our children know we will hold them accountable until they have worked together to resolve their dispute, they learn to calm themselves and become more cooperative in conflict. Whatever method you use for resolving conflict in your home, over time and with consistency, we can slowly shift the paradigm of our family life from bickering chaos to (somewhat) peaceful relationships as our children learn to be meek and humble of heart.
The Fruit of Meekness
Jesus taught that the meek would inherit the earth. What was he getting at? The culture teaches that aggressive, even harsh behavior will dominate the earth. The upside-down, right-side-up truth of the kingdom of God teaches that the humble will inherit the earth. Jesus referred to the theme in Psalm 37: the humble will inherit the blessing and peace of God in the “promised land” if, when we are wronged, we don’t take revenge but trust in God’s justice and mercy.
So, how do we nurture our children to be kindhearted, sweet-spirited and self-controlled? We choose influences that lead to a virtuous life by selecting activities that promote cooperation and problem-solving. Search the internet for “games that teach cooperation,” and you’ll find plenty of suggestions for all age groups. Playing cooperative games instills empathy for others, which is at the heart of meekness.
Meekness is a virtue that requires experience and maturity to develop in all of us. When we start attending to this when our children are young, the Holy Spirit will come alongside us with insight and discernment on how best to apply it to our children’s different personalities as they mature.
Lord Jesus, you said, “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.” Help me to model strength under control before my children. Tame any ruthlessness I display toward others. Grant me a spirit of humility that strives for goodwill toward others and the discipline to consider others’ feelings in any disagreement.
~Amen
Ideas:
Teach older children how to care for younger children and rely on them to help you prepare to go places together.
Spend more time together as a family, participating in the community activities around you.
Play cooperative games like three-legged races or partner children together to navigate an obstacle course (for older children, blindfold one partner).
Build something together: block towers, legos, model sets or hobby projects.
~I am a freelance writer. This post first appeared in a periodical.
The Maiden Warrior 