Pray It Forward: How to Love Our Children Like God Loves Them

We all receive love in one or more ways: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service impact each of us in varying degrees. The five love languages don’t limit how the Lord demonstrates his love to us, but he has created us to receive his love unique to each of us. No doubt, you can remember moments of consolation where he spoke love to you profoundly; more than likely, you received that love in your language. What would happen in our families if we united our passion for each other with God’s love for us in our conversations by speaking each other’s language? This month, let’s consider the first of the five languages to discover how we can help our children develop emotionally and spiritually.

Everyone needs physical contact, but love shouts through touch when our primary love language is physical touch. Some children just light up when they receive physical touch. Two of our grandchildren always sit extra close rather than far away; they are quick to cuddle and stroke their parents. Now, how can we draw them into feeling God’s love? With this in mind, let’s consider how to teach our children how God loves them uniquely. Consider reading or telling this beautiful account of Jesus and the children while you rock them or sit close to them. Perhaps a good time would be at bedtime when you can rub their back or stroke their arms as they lie listening to you.

People were bringing little children to him so that he might touch them, and the disciples spoke sternly to them. But when Jesus saw this, he was indignant and said to them, “” Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Honestly, I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.””And he took them up in his arms, laid his hands on them, and blessed them.

(Mark 10:13-16)

Some questions to ask her:

What part of that story did you like best?

If you were Jesus, how do you think you’d feel when you got to hug the children?

If you were one of the children, what would you like best: Jesus holding you, Jesus placing his hands on your head, or hearing Jesus say nice things about you?

A Prayer:

Jesus, thank you for always holding us safe in your arms even though we can’t see you. ~Amen

You may even encourage your physical lovers to kiss the crucifixes and Bibles in your home as a way for them to love God in their language. You could purchase a cross-shaped pillow for them to hug as they sleep at night (Etsy is a great resource) to remind them of Jesus’ love for them.

The teen years can be tumultuous because our children are at loose ends about who they are and their place in the world. These are prime years for them to learn of God’s unfailing love for them, and we are the ones to model that love (even when we like to send them back to the cabbage patch!) One of our teenage grandchildren who “speaks” physical touch visibly softens when she is touched. Her parents are diligently training her strong will in these hormone-driven years. How can we draw her into feeling God for her when we are in a conflict? Tenderly speaking words of understanding coupled with an embrace (even though her attitude may bristle) or a touch on the shoulder may reach her better than any lecture.

Consider this passage from St. Matthew 23: 37 Jesus said, “”Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! 

Some thoughts to share with her as you stroke her arm or rub her back:

I know you are angry, and I understand how frustrated you may feel about [ ]. You aren’t the first person to feel that way; Jesus was angry and saddened by people’s behaviors and choices, he once told them he desired to gather them into his arms like a hen gathered chicks under her wing, but they were unwilling to let him. I believe Jesus wants to gather you into his arms and hold you close as you tell him what you are angry about. Would you be willing to let me hold you like Jesus wants to hold you?

A prayer:

Jesus, I love [ ] so very much, but I know you love her even more than I do. Please help us calmly share our feelings about what is happening. Would you draw us into your arms and shelter us from hurting each other with our words?

The Lord instructed us to train up our children in the way they are destined to go. When they are old, they will not depart from it (adapted Proverbs 22:6). When we love our children the way they are created to receive love, we ensure they will receive the Lord’s love more readily as they mature in their faith. 

Recommended Reading: 

The 5 Love Languages of Children and/or The 5 Love Languages of Teens by Gary Chapman

Pray It Forward: Altars of Remembrance

We continue to build the proverbial family altar using the Sacred Scriptures as our blueprint. What God commanded Joshua to do with his people, he still commands us to do with our people—build altars of remembrance.  These altars are “to be a sign among you. When your children ask you, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ We will be able to recount the reasons for our faith in the One True LORD God Almighty.

We, in effect, build altars of remembrance in our homes each time we come together to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, graduations and weddings, even funerals. We tell our children the events of their birth; we share the story of how we met our husbands and wives; we hang memory boards at graduation open houses and funerals to celebrate a life in photos and memorabilia. What would happen in our homes if we honored our faith journey as much as our family journey? Do our children and grandchildren know the story of our faith in God? Do WE know our story of faith in God?

In the last post (The Family Altar), we discussed the instruction from the Shema (“to listen or hear”) to “Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart” (Deuteronomy 6:6). Today, we will consider the next instruction from the Shema where God directs his people to “Recite them to your children and talk about them…” (v.7).

When we know why we choose to practice our Catholic Faith, it is much easier to confidently practice our faith in what we do and how we live. When we recite the Nicene Creed like practicing Jews recite the Shema, it sets the trajectory of our lives, and it can set the trajectory of our children’s lives when we live what we believe. The bottom line for us as parents and grandparents is to guide our children in establishing a Catholic worldview in our quotidian existence. Where do we begin? St. Peter wrote to the early Christians,

“…In your hearts, sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be ready to give a reason why you (believe in God) to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence.” 

I Peter 3:15

Giving an account of something is at the heart of storytelling; its effect is proven in history. It is how The Faith was passed down to us, beginning with the story of the Jewish nation recorded in the Old Testament. When we share our stories of faith in God with our children (or anyone for that matter), we effectively give an account of the hope that is in us. Have you ever spent time meditating on the events of your life in the rubric of God’s providence? That’s an excellent place to start telling your faith story to the next generation. Consider these seed thoughts and questions you can ask yourself as you prepare to make a practice of reciting our Catholic Faith to our children.

What’s your earliest memory of feeling God’s presence? That is where your faith journey began. Children are always intrigued by our childhood stories; we can capitalize on that as we learn to recite our faith.

When was a time you felt a strong sense of God’s presence? No doubt there’s an interesting story that accompanies that memory, too. Is there a tender or dramatic moment you can share with your children where you felt the presence of the Lord?

When you look back at your life, where can you identify a blessing in disguise? Understanding where God came through for you unexpectedly can help you articulate the memory to your children. Share the circumstances of a time when money was short for a need, and how God provided it. Share the circumstance of a time when you were lonely, afraid, or angry and how God helped you overcome it.

What are some of the blessings of God’s natural world most meaningful to your life? Recall times in your childhood when you experienced those blessings. Share them with your children and grandchildren! In the present, there are so many moments we can seize when we are in nature with our children to point them toward our Creator God. When you hear a bird call, wonder aloud with them why God designed that bird to sing that song. Thank the Lord out loud for the weather, even when it’s not agreeable to you. Again, we are pointing our children to God by displaying an attitude of praise and thanksgiving for things present, past, and future. We can instill faith and hope in God in our children every tiny moment of the day!

Fostering a holy environment where our faith in God is active, remembered, treasured, celebrated, and passed on to generations to come is a privilege and honor. Let’s pick up our tools and get to work!

Pray It Forward: Keep the Faith

We continue our theme of the family altar by considering our “why” for prioritizing a holy atmosphere in our homes. Moses instructed God’s people to observe the statutes and ordinances of God diligently so that their children and children’s children may revere the Lord. He ended by saying,

… Observe them diligently so that it may go well with you.
Deuteronomy 6:3

Our children are growing up in a world of competing worldviews manufactured to lead us to anywhere but God. The balance of living in the world and not of it seems more challenging to maintain than ever before. Where do our children learn a Christian worldview if not in our home? All of us, at one time or another, search for the answers to the five big questions of existence. Where did I come from? Who am I? Why am I here? How should I live? Where am I going? God’s intention for our families is for them to learn that in the home environment. How are we doing at that? Yes, the rubric for answering those questions is contained in The Sacred Scripture and the worship of the Mass, but does it really answer life’s questions? A resounding yes!

Our children can learn to know their origin, identity, and purpose as we create an environment where the answers to the questions of morality and destiny are woven moment by moment into the very fiber of our children’s understanding. So, let’s revisit the first lines of the Shema to observe how we can do this.

The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Then he instructs the people, “Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart…”
Deuteronomy 6:4-6

As discussed in a previous blog (The Family Altar), these words are our magna carta for creating our home atmosphere around the Truth, Goodness, and Beauty of The Faith. We must be intentional and remain at our post as parents and grandparents so that it will go well for our family. Notice that Moses then instructed, “Keep these words…” What does that mean, and how do we do it? To keep is to “cause to continue in a specified condition, position, or course.” Webster expands the meaning by referring to this phrase, “The guidance system keeps the machine on course.” When we “Keep The Faith,” we guide our family on the course of God’s desire for us and our future generations. How do we do that?

Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home, when you are away, when you lie down, and when you rise.
Deuteronomy 6:7

There are so many things to keep track of in our busy family lives, right? Perhaps a minor assessment of the busyness of your family life is in order. What can you eliminate? Where can you carve out 15 minutes to unite each day as a holy family? There is always a way, but not always a will. Ask the Lord for his will to be your will for your family. Yes, it is inevitable to experience some resistance, but you are the parent! Stay the course.

One last thought about the word: keep. As a noun, Keep refers to a castle’s most vital or central tower, acting as a final refuge. Establishing a family altar in our home serves as a Keep for our children. When we build our Catholic Faith as THE most substantial influence in our family life, our children will know where to return to when they encounter their existential crisis, which is inevitable for all of us.

The beauty of honoring the Lord as a family is that we learn together as we discuss the faith. I recommend a few age-appropriate Bible storybooks to you. The following recommendations are ecumenical in that they contain nothing untoward to our Catholic Faith.

The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name is appropriate for 2-6-year-olds.

The Action Bible: God’s Redemptive Story is appropriate for school-aged children and adolescents.

I highly recommend The Power of the Praying Parent and The Power of the Praying Grandparent by Stormie Omartian. Prayer is the foundation for our success as holy parents and grandparents.

Holy Father, We are grateful that we are not alone. You are our Teacher, always whispering to us, “This is the way; walk in it.” Help us to listen. Your Word promises that we honor you in praise and worship, our future generations will declare you as Lord. We are banking on that, Lord. Lead us on!
–Amen

Pray It Forward: The Family Altar

“Teach [your] children of the [loving ways] of God; [so] that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and rise up and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments”

~Psalm 78

The Sacred Scriptures emphasize the honor and responsibility we have to our family and future generations to teach the ways of God. Let’s consider an object lesson; as it were, God used to open the eyes of his people to their sacred responsibility to sanctify their families.

The first books of the Bible and the book of Joshua relay the lengths God went to to establish his covenant with his creation. He chose the family of Abraham and his future generations to fulfill his desire that all creation would know of his desire to bless them. He led his people into the long-awaited Promised Land through the river Jordan under the leadership of Joshua. God instructed Joshua to tell his people, “Sanctify yourselves; for tomorrow, the Lord will do wonders among you” (Jos 3:5). And he did!

Later, when they crossed the Jordan, God instructed his people to build an altar with 12 stones from the river so that “these are to be a sign among you. When your children ask you, ‘What do those stones mean to you?’ you shall answer them, ‘The waters of the Jordan ceased to flow before the ark of the covenant of the Lord when it crossed the Jordan. Thus these stones are to serve as a perpetual memorial to the Israelites” (Jos 4:6-7).

This wasn’t the only time God instructed his people to build an altar as a remembrance (a visual reminder of God’s faithfulness), but it is one that will encourage us in our desire to live our faith effectively so that we become the holy families God desires to bless.

Altars would eventually serve other purposes: a place where parents would prophesy over their children by reminding them that they were created for a purpose—to serve the Lord God with all their mind, all their strength, and all their hearts. An altar became a sacred place where parents would release children into their prophetic destinies and where they would receive their father’s blessing. It would also become a destination to offer sacrifices of thanksgiving to the Lord on behalf of their family.

Over time, the geographical altars of remembrance became family altars in the culture of Judeo-Christian home life. It was a designated place in the home. The purpose was the same: a family remembered God’s faithfulness to their ancestors in the faith (Bible stories), and they conversed with God together, showing their love and thanksgiving for him (prayer). The benefit to future generations, of course, depended on how committed the parents were to passing on the faith to their children.

I grew up with a family altar that shifted throughout the day: from the kitchen, where we knelt at our chairs after breakfast as my father would pray for each of us before we went our separate ways, to the living room after dinner, where we listened to our father read the Sacred Scriptures, and we each learned to pray together; then to our bedsides as our mother prayed with us and tucked us into bed. Once I left home and married my husband, we built a family altar. Why? Because my parents were faithful to God by being faithful to us around the family altar, I knew the stability it provided for my development as a Christian, not to mention my self-image!

It isn’t always easy; a toddler crying at your feet or a teenager slamming their bedroom door in your face is distracting. Perseverance is required if we desire to instill in our children the stability of knowing who they are and why God created them the way he did. We must teach them, through example and habit, the beauty, goodness, and truth of The Faith.

Our desires for our family require consistent attention to God’s Word and perseverance in prayer, but where do we begin, and how do we fit it in? I would like to come alongside you to offer encouragement and practical advice for finding suitable “stones” for your family altar. We will consider other altars in the Sacred Scripture and how they can inspire us as we worship at our family altars.

Regardless of the composition of your family (mom and dad, single parent, blended family), You will discover ways to build a family altar and navigate family life under the priority of family worship. You will discover the beauty of verbally blessing your family and fostering an atmosphere of peace. We will offer practical approaches for discussing the faith with your children. And most importantly, you’ll learn how to become prayer warriors for your children and future generations.

Pray it Forward: Tradition!

“Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as a Fiddler on the Roof.”

The Broadway musical The Fiddler on the Roof is about a Russian village that strives to protect the traditions of Judaism to keep their religious culture alive and thriving as the pre-Holocaust world threatens to destroy them. The story’s protagonist is Tevya, who has a running dialogue with God throughout the musical. His desire to keep the tradition alive drives him to his knees about how he raises his family–he’s a lovable character because his struggle is standard in every age. At one point in the musical, his wife and he dialogue about their struggles in keeping the traditions of their faith front and foremost for their family amidst the inevitable changes they face in the culture. One of the most tender songs between the husband and wife relays what I believe you, and I feel as parents and grandparents.

Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset,
Swiftly fly the years.
One season following another,
Laden with happiness and tears.

What words of wisdom can I give them?
How can I help to ease their way?

We must ask ourselves the same questions if we hope to vibrantly live the Sacred Tradition of our Catholic Faith in our domestic church today and in future generations. How can we do that? I suggest that the daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly small “t” traditions we practice within the culture of our family support the capital “T” traditions of The Faith. We must be attentive to what habits and dispositions we form daily to protect our family and future generations from forgetting what they believe and why they believe it. The orthodox Jewish home stands on three pillars we most likely recognize: the Torah (The Law of God), Service to God, and Acts of human kindness. We are Judeo-Christians in that we are the extension and fulfillment of the history of salvation recorded in the Old Testament and fulfilled in the New Testament. And through Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for us once and for all, we are united to God for his Good Purpose. God’s Word is living and active, guiding us today as it did as it was recorded.

The Shema (Deuteronomy 6) alluded to in the musical is a declaration to adhere to as we raise a faithful Christian family. To do otherwise is to risk forgetting the purpose of our vocation as parents and grandparents. When we forget or are apathetic toward what we are about and why we observe our Faith traditions, we are in danger of our children and future generations walking away from The Faith. It is not enough to say, “That’s just what we do,” as Catholic Christians, our faith in God is to be lived purposefully, supported by faith and reason and action. Lack of attention leads to a lack of understanding, giving way to a lack of appreciation. All this culminates in a dismissal of the ancient traditions that sustain and frame the domestic church.

Beyond ensuring our children attend CCD and Sunday Mass each week, where do we form our Christian identity? In the domestic church! We take care to keep The Faith vibrant and life-giving 168 hours a week in our family’s life. The active attention to the integrity of The Faith is reflected in our thoughts, words, actions, and the choices we make for our family, and that forms the domestic church traditions that will guard our families against relegating our faith in God to just another option in a world of shinier but inferior options.

We can’t read the words of The Shema without noting how pivotal the actions are in fulfilling the ordinance. God directs Moses to remind the people: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Then he instructs the people, “Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home, when you are away when you lie down, and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates .…You must diligently keep the commandments of the Lord your God, his decrees, and his statutes that he has commanded you. Do what is right and good in the sight of the Lord, so that it may go well with you, and so that you may go in and occupy the good land that the Lord swore to your ancestors to give you, thrusting out all your enemies from before you, as the Lord has promised. (Deuteronomy 6:4-19)

Friends, we live in a culture that is anti-Christ, which is the enemy at war against us. It is the enemy we must thrust out before us one deliberate action at a time. In the words of Tevya, “Without our traditions, our lives would be as shaky as a Fiddler on the Roof.”

Resource recommendations:
The Catholic All Year Compendium: Liturgical Living For Real Life by Kendra Tierney
The Catholic Home: Celebrations and Traditions for Holidays, Feast Days, and Every Day by Meredith Gould
Theology of Home: Finding the Eternal in the Everyday by Carrie Gress, PhD

Pray It Forward: Praying with Authority

In the story of Creation, there is an exchange between God and Cain (the first son of Adam and Eve). Cain had an anger management problem that stemmed from envy and jealousy. Following is the conversation before the first murder was committed from Genesis 4:5-7:

So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Cain probably didn’t set out to commit murder, but he chose not to master his envy, jealousy, and anger; because Cain refused to master these sins, he descended a ladder, so to speak, into mortal sin. (”Veniel sin is a sin that is relatively slight, or that is committed without complete reflection or consent. While a venial sin weakens the sinner’s union with God, it is not a deliberate turning away from God and so does not wholly block the inflow of sanctifying grace. An example of such a sin might be gossip, impatience, or a failure to pray. Venial sins are usually contrasted with mortal sins, which are the gravest of sins and represent a deliberate turning away from God.”)

It’s most likely that the enemy of our child or grandchild’s soul will never take possession of them to such an extreme mortal sin against the LORD. However, consider the venial sins of Cain–envy, jealousy, anger, lying. We sometimes witness those things in our lives and our family, right? What is our role as parents and grandparents when we notice venial patterns set into the mind, body, and soul of our loved ones?

First and foremost, we live a life of integrity before them! Little eyes and ears are always watching and listening! Our speech patterns and attitude can foster goodness, however; if our venial sins go unchecked, they can infest our lovies with the same venial sins we have not mastered. That’s enough about that. Let’s consider our authority as children of God when we pray for our family.

There is one resource other than the Sacred Scripture that I sometimes employ in my intercession for my family. They come from the book Deliverance Prayers For Use by the Laity by Father Chad Ripperger, a priest, theologian, and exorcist for The Roman Catholic Church. The book has the Imprimatur, which assures us as the laity that we can utilize the prayers in our intercession with confidence in the Sacred Authority of The Roman Catholic Church. As the laity, we cannot be exorcists, but we must intercede with the constant petition for protection from the evil one when we observe the enemy lurking about the door of their minds. We can pray the words of the prayers of deliverance on behalf of our family in the name of Jesus, who has conquered death, hell, and the grave. St. Peter, referring to the Risen Savior, proclaimed to the religious court of Israel (Acts 4:12):

There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved.

By the time St. Peter proclaimed this to the religious court, he had already given into the temptation that it was up to him to save himself from the threats of evil. But he learned through his remorseful failures that salvation is from no one else but Jesus. He later goes on to warn believers in a letter to them (I Peter 5:7-9).

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.

We have a Savior; we can cast all our anxiety on him for our loved ones, and he will always come through for us. Just this morning, as I was praying for my family and future generations, I was overcome by an urgency to pray against the enemy’s influence on them. I don’t know why and will probably never know why the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray so specifically at that moment, on this day, in this year, but I am confident that the prevenient grace of God took action in the life or lives of my family! Praying In the Name of Jesus is our only hope for the protection and salvation of our loved ones.

Follows is a prayer from Deliverance Prayers that is referred to as the Short-Form Deliverance prayer. I commend it to you as a weapon in your prayer arsenal against the adversary of our soul that prowls like a roaring lion seeking to devour.

In the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I bind you, Satan, and all your evil forces by the power of His Cross, His Blood, and His resurrection. I take authority over all evil influences that are directed against [ ]. I break them by the power and authority of our Lord Jesus Christ. I bind all evil interactions, interplay, and communications between spirits sent against [ ], and send them directly to Jesus Christ to deal with as He wills…I ask Jesus, the son of the living God, to pour His shed Blood over every aspect of [ ] life for their protection. I pray all this in the precious Name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. –Amen

****

The Examined Life

When author and pastor, Rick Warren, wrote The Purpose Driven Life, he attempted to answer the question, “What on earth am I here for?” The book became a best-seller and joined many others that attempt to answer the same question. The search for meaning and purpose is as old as humankind. Why can’t we answer the question and be done with it instead of looking for another opinion? The struggle to know who we are and why we are here, I believe, is because we don’t realize God’s unfailing desire for us to know him. In knowing Him, we learn to know our purpose for living. In this post, I would like us to consider the need for silence and introspection as we search for the meaning of our lives.

St. Paul wrote to the Ephesians, “In [Christ] we were also chosen, destined in accord with the purpose of the One who accomplishes all things according to the intention of his will, so that we might exist for the praise of his glory, we who first hoped in Christ.” (1:11-12) God chose us; we are his beloved! He created us in his image. It was perfect and beautiful, and it was enough.

That is, until we chose something other than him.

And the rest of history reveals what happens to us when we stop listening to him. We distract ourselves with the seemingly fascinating options for self-fulfillment that move us farther and farther away from God’s intention for our lives—always coming up short and dissatisfied. How may we return to the intention of God’s will for us? 

We begin by silencing ourselves and our surroundings, which takes a herculean resolve in a distracted and noisy society. Reminding myself that Jesus often withdrew to a quiet place helps my resolution. Just think of what he can do when we retire from our noisy surroundings to meet him there. His Word to us can pierce through our darkened understanding about ourselves to restore us to the intention of his will for us.

So, if we’ve silenced ourselves and inclined our hearts to God, then what do we do?

Socrates wrote, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Examination of our life requires introspection, and we just aren’t comfortable with that, are we? St. Ignatius of Loyola developed a guide of Spiritual Exercises to help us examine our lives and discern God’s desires for us. In considering our lives, we allow the Holy Spirit to reorient the inclination of our lives toward God. We learn to know ourselves–strengths and weaknesses. We understand how our unique nature can “exist for the praise of his glory.” St. Ignatius provides a template, so to speak, for prayer called The Suscipe (the Latin word for “receive”) that will guide us in examining our strengths and weaknesses and giving them back to the One who created us the way we are.

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, memory, understanding, and entire will, all I have and call my own.  You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and grace; that is enough for me. Amen

Beginning the prayer with the word “take” assumes we will give up. What do I hold too tightly that needs surrendering to the Lord? What is the disposition of my heart? What does the essence of my heart incline me toward? Remembering the saying, “Everywhere I go, there I am,” is a good place for me to start when answering those questions.

Do I recognize a running theme in my conversations and relationships? Do I see a pattern of behavior toward others that repeats in every circumstance? I must stop and consider if disordered pride, fear, or anger motivates my words and actions, dragging me farther away from God’s intention.

What liberties do I take with myself and with others? What memories keep me from entrusting myself to the Lord? What do I have difficulty understanding about God, myself, and others? Most of the confusion and conflicts we have in life come from our unwillingness to understand ourselves and others. The Holy Spirit is always faithful to affirm our strengths and counsel us in our weaknesses if we remain silent before him, desiring to seek God’s purpose above all.

This examination prepares us to entrust our entire will to him, where all questions about our existence are answered. St. Paul wrote to the Romans, “…Be transformed by the renewal of your mind, so that you may discern what the will of God is–what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (12:2).

What are we here for? Not ourselves. No, we are here for the praise of God’s glory–that is the abundant life worth living!

Pray It Forward: Cast Your Bread Upon the Water

“…Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap, for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”

St. Luke 6:38

Send out your bread upon the waters,
    for after many days, you will get it back.
..

Ecclesiastes 11:1

Consider

Jesus teaches us that giving of ourselves to others results in a reward. The same principle applies in His Kingdom’s economy of abundance when we cast our prayers upon Him. When we intercede, we surrender our most profound concerns for our loved ones to Him. Some of us have been praying for years for a loved one, but we are losing hope that God will answer our prayers. It can be challenging to entrust our loved ones to our Lord, whether it is a wayward child, a broken marriage, a chronic disease, or any other issue. It boils down to this: the tricky part about giving our children and grandchildren to the Lord is that we must let go, which can seem impossible. How is it going for you?

The most powerful way to communicate with God is by using His Word. One of the best things we can do for ourselves is engage with the Sacred Scripture, which helps us find peace when we are struggling with our loved ones. We immerse ourselves in His grace when we meditate on God’s Word. We can be confident that His Word always hits the mark. The writer of the letter to the Hebrews reminds us that the Word of God is alive and active, sharper than any double-edged sword. It can divide the soul from spirit, joints from marrow, and judge the thoughts and intentions of our hearts. (Hebrews 4:12)

My prayers for my present and future family members may not be perfect; I’m just not that good! However, when we pray using the Word of God, the Holy Spirit interprets our words and makes them effective.

Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. And God, who searches the heart, knows what is the mind of the Spirit because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Romans 8:26-27

If you need more encouragement for your intercessory prayers, consider the power of God’s Word described by the prophet Isaiah.

For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return there until they have watered the earth,
making it bring forth and sprout,
giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
it shall not return to me empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
and succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55: 10-11

When we entrust the well-being of our loved ones to God by praying His Word, we may have a solid urge to dictate precisely how we want Him to answer our prayers. However, we must trust that His Holy Spirit will translate our requests according to His will. Even though the answer may not come immediately, we can be confident that God will fulfill His purpose for our loved ones in abundance and with incredible generosity as they respond to his grace and salvation.

Pray

Lord, you promise to keep [ ] from all evil and keep [ ] life in your hands. You know [ ] comings and goings from this time on and evermore. I entrust [ ] to you; do with [ ] what You will!

In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Act

Start a prayer journal dedicated to intercessory prayer for your family. As you read the Daily Office, you will discover how to form the Scripture into prayer. Here are a few samples from today’s liturgy:

The Lord God will wipe away the tears from all faces, and he will take the disgrace of his people from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken. Isaiah 25:8

Oh Lord God, I carry [ ] to your loving arms, and I ask that you wipe away her tears and assure her of your unfailing love for her. You know the disgrace in her life and how it affects her mind and body. Comfort her for me today. –Amen

Light dawns for the just and gladness for the upright of heart. Be glad in the Lord, you just, and give thanks to his holy name. Psalm 97:11-12

God of Light, shine on [ ] as he strives to be a godly father. Grant him an upright heart so that he gladdens the heart of his children. May he live a life of gratitude before all people. –Amen

Pray It Forward: “Too Heavy for Me”

“Do not lose heart, even if you should discover that you lack qualities necessary for the work to which you are called. He who called you will not desert you, but the moment you are in need, he will stretch out his saving hand.”

– St. Angela Merici

Moses, the quintessential priest of the Old Testament, stood before the Lord after leading God’s people away from the bondage of slavery, lamenting to him about the burden he had to carry as the leader in The Exodus from enslavement in Egypt to the land God had promised to give them where they would be free from oppression. It was a noble calling for this faithful man, but it wasn’t a walk in the park. The people of God were complaining, “We are hungry and thirsty…we are tired and weary…we want things to return to the way they used to be.” And the list of complaints kept growing. Moses cried out to God, “I cannot carry this people by myself, for they are too heavy for me.” (Numbers 11) Do those complaints sound familiar to you? If you are a parent/grandparent, you regularly hear these honest complaints in one form or another. It’s normal for children to make their needs known to their parents, but the yammering can get tiring when it embeds in the disposition of their minds as they grow! Our role in their lives is to lead them out of their immaturity and self-preoccupation, first by example, but discipline is sometimes needed to correct their ingratitude. That gets exhausting, doesn’t it? The Lord desires us to intercede as we lead; the Holy Spirit will guide us as we guide them to the “promised life” of contentment. Like Moses, when we cry out to the Lord that we are at a loss on how to carry our loved ones into young adulthood and that, at times, parenting is too heavy for us, he gives us just the right guidance and energy to stay the course.

Consider

What burden for your children/grandchildren do you carry that causes you to cry to the Lord that it is too heavy for you? Name them to the Lord. He knows already, but we need to voice them. I started a prayer journal for our family as we were raising them, and I continue to use it as a mother to adult children and their spouses, as well as my grandchildren and future generations. I’ve prayed my way through nearly 43 years of ups and downs, loss and gain, joys and sorrows. My Savior and Friend sits with me as I’ve poured my heart out to him on behalf of my loved ones. Perhaps that would be helpful for you. How can you pray for your family today? Simply asking the Lord to have mercy on them is often enough, but praying the Scripture over them is also needed, for it is the ultimate weapon we have against the malignant enemy of the souls of our families.

Pray

Father, your Word says, When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and rescues them from all their troubles. (Ps 34:17) I ask that you give [ ] unusual strength to stand up under whatever causes them to be discouraged and fretful. Your Word promises you will rescue us when our spirit is overwhelmed (Ps 143:4). I entrust [ ] to you today and ask that you grant them a lightness of spirit as they go throughout their day. Help [ ] to place their confidence in you as they face circumstances that may seem too heavy for them.

In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen

Act

Talk with your children/grandchildren, appropriate to their age, about their complaints and frustrations. You may find that their complaints are legitimate (like the Israelites’ hunger) or that they don’t like change, especially when it’s hurried change. Talk about ways to help them adjust to new things rather than complain about them. You may want to ask them how you could prepare them for transition better. I had two children and now several grandchildren who struggle with change when it appears to threaten their sense of security. The Holy Spirit gave us helpful insight when we were parenting the said children; they now use it with their own children. We would begin preparing them for the disruption and talk about the upcoming event days and sometimes weeks ahead, depending on the significance of what was coming. Once they knew we would listen to their concerns about what was ahead of them and prayed with them about their worries, the complaining subsided. The importance of consistency can’t be overstated regarding renewing our mindsets, especially in children’s lives.

…[Because] His Hour Had Not Yet Come

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” Then the Pharisees said to him, “You are testifying on your own behalf; your testimony is not valid.” Jesus answered, “Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid because I know where I have come from and where I am going, but you do not know where I come from or where I am going. You judge by human standards; I judge no one. Yet even if I do judge, my judgment is valid; for it is not I alone who judge, but I and the Father who sent me. In your law it is written that the testimony of two witnesses is valid. I testify on my own behalf, and the Father who sent me testifies on my behalf.” Then they said to him, “Where is your Father?” Jesus answered, “You know neither me nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.” He spoke these words while he was teaching in the treasury of the temple, but no one arrested him, because his hour had not yet come.

The Gospel According to Saint John 8:12-29

My strong sense of justice sometimes becomes disordered because of my prideful hubris. It’s a besetting sin that provides many lessons for me to learn the virtue of humility–mea culpa! The Sacred Scripture is a syllabus of sorts for transformation in the virtues. I’m a willing student but often feel like I’m failing the course. Do you ever feel that way, friend?

Jesus had a perfect sense of justice; we could say Jesus is Justice. So whenever I read passages such as today’s gospel reading, I lean in a little closer to listen to The Teacher as he shows me a more excellent way to live. It just so happened that today is also when we recall the Joyful Mysteries where we visualize, through Mary’s eyes, the wonder of the Incarnation of Jesus. The last mystery we recall in today’s rosary is Jesus in The Temple. Joseph and Mary had “lost” Jesus on the way back home to Nazareth after the Passover in Jerusalem. They found him after three days, sitting in the Temple. St. Luke 2:48-51 puts it this way:

After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard him were amazed at his understanding and his answers. 

Mary and Joseph let him know what he had put them through and Jesus replies:

“Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them. His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

As I prayed with that mystery, the Teacher asked me a question. Why do you suppose I reveal my understanding to these particular teachers of the Law? It was early morning, I was barely awake, and it was too much to ponder. But the Teacher wasn’t done teaching. A bit later, with my coffee in my mug and the incense burning, I opened The Daily Liturgy. As I read the gospel reading, the Teacher was still there; he didn’t mind the interruption, he wasn’t done teaching for the day.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.”  Oh, Jesus! As I see the sun just now rising above the trees, I am grateful that you never stop shining, even when I’ve “rotated” away from your light. Help me to remain oriented to your light, especially when my disordered pride makes me think I have just the right insight into other people’s behavior that they need to hear–mea culpa!

Jesus is in the same Temple again; the Pharisees–teachers, probably some of the same teachers from decades earlier argue with Jesus after he made the above declaration. Their disordered pride was getting in the way of their ability to understand The Teacher. Oh, Jesus! Forgive me for thinking my way of thinking is how you see things. There is no way I can fathom the depth and breadth of your wisdom; what’s that you say to me?

“You know neither me, nor my Father. If you knew me, you would know my Father also.”  I stand up in protest. Oh, Jesus! How can that be? I am convinced you are the Son of God; surely, I’m thinking correctly. But you say, I am Love. I am not like love. I am Love. You must learn to love me more and love your big fat ego less. Only then will you understand. When you speak words motivated by your disordered pride, you are speaking out of turn. He looks at me with gentle eyes, and I sit down.

He spoke these words while he was teaching in the treasury of the temple, but no one arrested him, because his hour had not yet come. Is this the lesson for me today, Jesus? That even though you were God incarnate–Perfect Wisdom–you allow the errant teachers to remain convinced of their errant teaching. Rather than striking the verbal blow that would knock them to their knees, you walk away because your hour had not yet come.

That subordinate clause, “because,” gets me to wondering if I have missed something from the lesson. Ah, yes. You are the Cause; the beginning and the end. You are the Incarnate God that began a discussion with the errant teachers of your Law when you were just a child. I suppose you could have knocked them to their knees then, but the time you chose to reveal your Divinity had not yet come. Jesus, forgive me! Forgive my ego-centered attitude toward others. Forgive me for not listening to you–all those times in my past when the words of my mouth came out like knives to slyly pierce the one in front of me–mea culpa!

You, Lord, are the Cause of my life. In you, I have my beginning and end. Through you I receive Wisdom that leads to understanding, that leads me to keep my big fat mouth closed. Humble me into Love–genuine and pure–self-giving love that seeks to understand the other rather than to conquer the other.

In the name of the Father and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, it is now, and ever shall be, world without end.

Amen